The Fundamentals of Dating: Inner Game vs. Outer Game


Think of yourself as a computer. A big shiny computer with a thirty two inch hi-definition LCD monitor, a thumping speaker system, and all the other ultra-cool accessories that money can buy. Sounds pretty darn awesome right? Well the thing is, you won’t be worth toss if you don’t have the right software backing you up.

Oh people will see you and be intrigued for sure, even intrigued enough to sit down next to you and start you up. But once they realize that you’re no smoother than the rickety old desktop they’ve got back home, they’re going to move on fast, if not sooner.

A pickup artiste or seducer in many ways is like a computer. The things that he says, the routines that he runs and the clothes that he wears are his hardware accessories; this is his outer game. But none of that means very much if he doesn’t have strong inner game backing it all up.

So what is inner game?

In the most simple of terms, inner game is how you see yourself and the world around you. And this view is tempered by your beliefs, your goals and visions, your life experiences and your sense of self worth.

So why is inner game important?

It helps you have fun

I don’t know about you, but for me to commit to something completely, I need to enjoy what I’m doing, and seducing women is no exception. And the fact of the matter is if you spend a good part of your interactions with women worrying about what you’re going to say next and how she’s going to respond, your interactions aren’t going to be much fun.

To be honest they’ll start feeling like a chore and you’ll find yourself burning out pretty darn soon. So your bigger picture really should be to rise above the canned lines and the rehearsed routines to become a naturally seductive person that is able to commit completely and wholeheartedly to an interaction and have fun while doing so.

Inner game is an integral aspect of becoming that naturally seductive person. Becoming a naturally seductive human being requires serious improvements in your beliefs, self-image and sense of self-worth and also serious changes in your views of male-female relationship dynamics. Inner game is a huge part of making those changes.

It helps you become congruent

Another reason why inner game is crucial to your success is that it helps you become congruent with whatever it is you’re saying. And if there’s one thing about women, it’s that they can smell incongruence like a sniffer dog with a hard-on for the truth. Women are incredibly intuitive creatures and can sense it when a man doesn’t believe what he himself is saying. And they find such men supremely unattractive. After all, why should a desirable woman listen to and value a man that doesn’t place much value on his own words?

Strong inner game helps you be congruent with what you say and what you do by seamlessly connecting your conscious and subconscious. If you’re telling a woman a story about the time you rescued your ex-girlfriend from a bunch of stalkers following her home, but your subconscious is screaming that you’re a lying, wimpy son of a bitch, she will sense this and blow you out faster than you can say bullshit.

It helps your outer game

The thing about seduction is that it’s mostly a non-verbal game. Have you ever experienced an instance where you walked up to a beautiful woman and delivered the funniest damn line ever, only to have her stare at you blankly? This is because the instant you walk up to a woman she spends the first few seconds of the interaction sizing up your non-verbal communication before she really pays attention to whatever it is you’re saying.

The wonderful thing about having strong inner game is that it seeps into your outer game through your non-verbal communication. Strong inner game knocks out neediness, approval seeking and try hard indicators from your non-verbal communication and replaces them with a relaxed and positive vibe, which women respond strongly to.

A common ailment that a lot of aspiring PUAs and seducers suffer from is the train of thought that seduction is a window of opportunity that they need to sneak through before a woman takes stock of what’s going on. This usually stems from low self-confidence and a lack of belief that they are men that are worthy of an attractive woman’s attentions and romantic pursuits.

So if you find yourself worrying about sneaking past a woman’s barriers before she figures out the ‘real you’, you’re doing it all wrong. A woman will eventually see past your lines and routines and peer into your faults and shortcomings. This might not always happen before you’ve charmed her into sleeping with you, but it will eventually happen. So take responsibility for yourself and your own inner game to help yourself become the type of man that a woman will fall more in love with each day.

If you want to tap into your inner-game I developed a system called Radical Inner Game that automatically installs seductive traits directly into your subconscious mind, see the video below:

4 thoughts on “The Fundamentals of Dating: Inner Game vs. Outer Game

  1. Reuben

    inner beauty is just anhoter politically correct term for nice attitude! And its very important. Don’t get me wrong people are going to judge you on appearance, your clothes, your hair, how pretty your face is, how old you look, race (yes, believe or not politically correct c and g, race). But thats just off looks and a quick judgement call. The other two things they got to go by is your reputation and what comes out your mouth. So if you are jerk (inner beauty) and talk like one, then that overrides your looks in most cases. So if you have no inner beauty to most women you have no looks!

    1. admin Post author

      Hi Reuben,

      I’ll be talking more about inner game all across this blog, that would translate more into confidence. To way you feel about yourself, the way you are congruent with your thoughts and actions, your vision, goals, believes, your vast subconscious mind, all of this influences every movement and everything you say.
      And yes women are natural body language readers and can detect your inner strength.

  2. Swathi

    Um k dude, who said “Nothing can make an ugly person with a great peainorlsty equal to a stunning person with a great peainorlsty. So why promote inner beauty?”that is completely false. There was this new girl at my highschool, she was weird looking, wore weird stuff and weird makeup etc… and she was really outgoing and funny. Everyone (well mostly everyone) started liking her as a friend etc because she was so cool and a great person to talk to. At first the guys at my school were like ” ew shes so ugly” and whatever but after she started talkin and we got to know her “inner beauty” , her peainorlsty started making people think she was hot. Not superficially.Soo who told you a persons peainorlsty cant make them hot?You just have to get to know them.Would you date a person who is really stunning and has the perfect everything looks etc but is a total b!tch/jerk on the inside, disrespects friends, family, people, doesnt do anything good, is greedy, is a WH0R3 OR player??? would you??WHY PROMOTE SUPERFICIAL BEAUTY?.

  3. admin Post author

    Hey Swathi,

    I’m promoting constant self improvement and getting in touch with the deep parts of your mind and there’s nothing superficial here. It’s ideal to have find a girl with both body and personality but if i’d have to choose I’d definetly go for personality.


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