Category Archives: Inner Game

Inner Game and the Keys to Confidence

Inner Game Confidence

‘Just be confident.’

This is probably the most clichéd and overused piece of dating advice that men have been inundated with since forever. But as clichéd and overused as it is, it’s also part of a much larger truth.

Ask a bunch of women about the one most important quality that they look for in a man and most of them will say confidence.

There is no woman in this world that wakes up each day hoping that she will meet a man that will spout a few funny lines, pull out a few magic stunts and trick her into falling into bed with him. Every woman starts her day hoping that she will meet a man that will sweep her off her feet, tell her things she’s never heard before and lead her from adventure to adventure with confidence.

The tragic setback facing most men is that no one ever really answers the question of what confidence is. The term confidence in itself is a fairly amorphous one, but the definition that I most identify it with is this – “Appearing confident is not about expressing confidence. It’s about confidently expressing everything else.” So how do you go about confidently expressing everything else?

Confidence isn’t something that a select few are magically born with – there is no confidence gene. Confidence is more often a state of being that a person achieves over time by doing certain things over and over until they feel confident doing it.

Michael Jordan feels confident shooting from the three point line because he’s made every imaginable shot from it a thousand times before. Lionel Messi feels confident in front of goal because he’s scored from every imaginable angle and every conceivable situation a thousand times before. Like Bruce Lee himself said, “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

So in reality, it is competence that breeds confidence. And as with any pursuit in life, in seduction too it is competence that will ultimately develop your confidence.

More often than not, would be PUAs and seducers fall into the trap of looking for magic bullets that claim to solidify your inner game and help you achieve confidence without every leaving the comforts of your own house. But inner game isn’t simply some computer program that can be installed instantaneously into your brain, Matrix style.

Building strong inner game involves going out into the field, failing a thousand times and learning a thousand different lessons until you eventually see the world around you free of the mind’s negative spins and interpretations.

For example, one of the hardest hurdles for a beginner PUA to overcome is approach anxiety.

Walking up to a beautiful woman and trying to start up a conversation is more often scarier than bungee jumping off a cliff with a twenty year old rope.

And the beginner PUA isn’t helped by his inner voice that will keep whispering that he’s not interesting enough to hold a beautiful woman’s attention, or the social fear that tells him that everyone in the room will end up laughing at him for being a weirdo.

Developing a strong inner game involves approaching a hundred beautiful women and replacing the doubts from your inner voice by realizing that just by approaching her and relating to her as a human being you’re saving her from the constant boredom of being treated as just a pretty fair and nice body.

And eventually a strong inner game will replace social fears associated with rejection with the awareness that the people around you are too worried about what everyone else thinks about them to spare you too much thought.

Another important thing to remember about inner game and confidence is that inner game isn’t just limited to seducing women. Developing strong inner game involves crafting a strong and desirable identity that is congruent with your seducer’s character.

A pickup artiste without a strong identity is just a wannabe spouting a bunch of made-up lines and routines. Without a strong identity, there is nothing for a woman to be fascinated by and be attracted to.

It doesn’t really make a difference if you’re a rock star, a movie star or an architect or an accountant, the trick with strong inner game is owning your identity. Don’t be the boring guy that just tells a woman that he’s an architect. Be the man that owns the character by telling a woman that you help make your city’s skyline look good.

There is a saying that confidence is about ‘faking it till you make it.’ While this is true in some sense, the process of developing a strong inner game really alleviates the need to fake anything.

Developing a strong inner game will help you embrace yourself, flaws and all, and see the world around you with a perspective that is fresh and full of possibility, helping you become a confident man that every woman hopes of crossing paths with.

The Path To Self-Improvement. Being the Best Version of Yourself

Inner game, self improvement

Inner game, self improvement

Hey there,

The biggest lie that a man learning to approach and attract women hears is that he should “be himself.” But I have a question for you. If you are overweight, broke, socially awkward and dress like Big Bird, should you still be yourself? I don’t think so!

I think that people get it wrong when they tell someone to be themselves. Because at the end of the day, who you are is not a fixed measure.

For example, think about yourself before college and after college. The chances are that you’ll see yourself as more mature and worldly. So who you are today, is a direct result of the choices you made and the actions you took in your past.

Which means that at any given point in time, you can change the person that you are going to be.

Be your best self

The one thing that I tell my students as far as self-improvement goes is to always focus on being their best self. And this is where your ability to be honest with yourself is important. At the end of the day, the biggest and worse lies that we tell are often the lies that we tell ourselves.

So before you can even think about becoming the best version of yourself, you need to identify the areas in which you aren’t being the best you can possibly be. Once you do this, you can start figuring out how to better yourself in these areas.

Be ambitious

Here’s the thing, to a woman, the potential for success is as attractive as actual success. You might not drive a Ferrari and you might not own a condo, but if a woman knows that you are far beyond driven in whatever field you work in, she’ll recognise that and find that incredible attractive.

So find things that you are passionate about and become good at them. And listen, it doesn’t matter if you want to become a movie star or a super star investment advisor, what’s important that you own it and become the best at it. A quality woman is more likely to fall for the banker who’s great at what he does than a rock star who can’t get 20 people to come see his show.

Develop your social circle

We humans are more social than we’ve ever been in history. So the social circles that we are a part of are more important than they’ve ever been before. And I don’t mean just in terms of women and seduction, even when it comes to business and success, the people you have around you can have a huge impact on who you are and how you function.

So take a look at your current social circle and think about if you’re surrounded by people who you want to be like. If the answer is no, go out and make friends with men who are already successful at what you want to do. When a woman enters into a romantic relationship with you, this often means that she’ll be interacting with your immediate social circle. So make it one that she’ll want to be a part of.

Develop your social skills

I truly believe that at the end of the day, your social skills are far more attractive to a woman than your success, wealth or fame. Think about it. Cyndi Lauper was right. Girls do just want to have fun. Women want a man who can comfortably and easily handle any social situation.

A woman wants to be with the guy that everyone wants to talk to. She wants to be with the guy who’ll take her from one exciting social setting to the other and help her discover new people and adventures. So if you’re shy, awkward and socially inept, work on it. Go out and meet new people. In fact, forget about meeting women for a while. Focus on being able to meet and have fun with absolute strangers. And while you’re doing this, you’ll actually find that women are inexplicably draw towards you.

Develop style

I’m not going to lie; looking like Brad Pitt isn’t ever going to hurt your chances in the dating game. But not all of us looks like Brad Pitt. But here’s the thing, there’s a difference between how you look and how you present yourself. So even if you don’t have movie-star-like good looks, it doesn’t mean that you can’t dress the part.

Study some of your favourite actors and musicians, and read through a few men’s style magazines and figure out a style that works for you. Or even better, find a female friend who’s willing to help you develop your own unique avatar. At the end of the day, you could be just an accountant, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t look like a rock star.

Groom well

Nothing is more unattractive to a woman than laziness, and nothing screams laziness as loudly as bad grooming. Now I’m not saying that you need to shape your eyebrows and wax your chest hair every week, but take care of your simple grooming tasks. It will convey that you are a man who takes his body and his image seriously, and this is attractive to a woman.

Let’s face it; none of the great seducers of this world are born that way. Some might have childhoods that open up their minds to the workings of the opposite sex better, but in general, every great seducer is the product of countless hours of working at improving themselves. So I hope that this article will help you become the best version of yourself and the best seducer that you could possibly be.

The Fundamentals of Dating: Inner Game vs. Outer Game


Think of yourself as a computer. A big shiny computer with a thirty two inch hi-definition LCD monitor, a thumping speaker system, and all the other ultra-cool accessories that money can buy. Sounds pretty darn awesome right? Well the thing is, you won’t be worth toss if you don’t have the right software backing you up.

Oh people will see you and be intrigued for sure, even intrigued enough to sit down next to you and start you up. But once they realize that you’re no smoother than the rickety old desktop they’ve got back home, they’re going to move on fast, if not sooner.

A pickup artiste or seducer in many ways is like a computer. The things that he says, the routines that he runs and the clothes that he wears are his hardware accessories; this is his outer game. But none of that means very much if he doesn’t have strong inner game backing it all up.

So what is inner game?

In the most simple of terms, inner game is how you see yourself and the world around you. And this view is tempered by your beliefs, your goals and visions, your life experiences and your sense of self worth.

So why is inner game important?

It helps you have fun

I don’t know about you, but for me to commit to something completely, I need to enjoy what I’m doing, and seducing women is no exception. And the fact of the matter is if you spend a good part of your interactions with women worrying about what you’re going to say next and how she’s going to respond, your interactions aren’t going to be much fun.

To be honest they’ll start feeling like a chore and you’ll find yourself burning out pretty darn soon. So your bigger picture really should be to rise above the canned lines and the rehearsed routines to become a naturally seductive person that is able to commit completely and wholeheartedly to an interaction and have fun while doing so.

Inner game is an integral aspect of becoming that naturally seductive person. Becoming a naturally seductive human being requires serious improvements in your beliefs, self-image and sense of self-worth and also serious changes in your views of male-female relationship dynamics. Inner game is a huge part of making those changes.

It helps you become congruent

Another reason why inner game is crucial to your success is that it helps you become congruent with whatever it is you’re saying. And if there’s one thing about women, it’s that they can smell incongruence like a sniffer dog with a hard-on for the truth. Women are incredibly intuitive creatures and can sense it when a man doesn’t believe what he himself is saying. And they find such men supremely unattractive. After all, why should a desirable woman listen to and value a man that doesn’t place much value on his own words?

Strong inner game helps you be congruent with what you say and what you do by seamlessly connecting your conscious and subconscious. If you’re telling a woman a story about the time you rescued your ex-girlfriend from a bunch of stalkers following her home, but your subconscious is screaming that you’re a lying, wimpy son of a bitch, she will sense this and blow you out faster than you can say bullshit.

It helps your outer game

The thing about seduction is that it’s mostly a non-verbal game. Have you ever experienced an instance where you walked up to a beautiful woman and delivered the funniest damn line ever, only to have her stare at you blankly? This is because the instant you walk up to a woman she spends the first few seconds of the interaction sizing up your non-verbal communication before she really pays attention to whatever it is you’re saying.

The wonderful thing about having strong inner game is that it seeps into your outer game through your non-verbal communication. Strong inner game knocks out neediness, approval seeking and try hard indicators from your non-verbal communication and replaces them with a relaxed and positive vibe, which women respond strongly to.

A common ailment that a lot of aspiring PUAs and seducers suffer from is the train of thought that seduction is a window of opportunity that they need to sneak through before a woman takes stock of what’s going on. This usually stems from low self-confidence and a lack of belief that they are men that are worthy of an attractive woman’s attentions and romantic pursuits.

So if you find yourself worrying about sneaking past a woman’s barriers before she figures out the ‘real you’, you’re doing it all wrong. A woman will eventually see past your lines and routines and peer into your faults and shortcomings. This might not always happen before you’ve charmed her into sleeping with you, but it will eventually happen. So take responsibility for yourself and your own inner game to help yourself become the type of man that a woman will fall more in love with each day.

If you want to tap into your inner-game I developed a system called Radical Inner Game that automatically installs seductive traits directly into your subconscious mind, see the video below: