There are usually two commonly travelled paths when it comes to observing people who are excellent. This could be an excellent sportsman, an excellent writer or an excellent pickup artiste. The two paths are either being jealous of that person or admiring that person, and these are both paths that lead to mediocrity.
NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming offers a third path, and that is a way of observing and emulating these excellent people to achieve what they’ve achieved.
How NLP achieves this is by leveraging our perception of the world, the language we use to describe our perceptions and our beliefs and experiences that then influence our behaviors.
For example, imagine you were walking down the street when suddenly a rabid dog runs towards you. The first aspect studied in NLP is the neurological signals that are created in such a situation by our five senses. In this case, you would see the dog with its bloodshot eyes and foaming mouth and you would hear its barks.
Next your brain would receive an interpretation of what you are seeing and hearing via language. In this case it would most like be words along the lines of ‘oh crap.’ Next, you would reflect back on your beliefs and experiences on how to deal with such a situation and your brain would make a snap decision on how to act. In this case, the most logical action would be to run for you life.
What NLP does is intervene in each of these three steps to change our behaviors to a direction that will guide us towards a desired outcome.
So how does this relate to the modern day pickup artiste and seducer, and how can you utilize the concepts of NLP to improve your inner game? As always, examples teach better than lessons, so following are a few practical examples of NLP techniques that can be used to great effect in strengthening your inner game.
Using the swish technique to destroy approach anxiety
The swish technique in NLP is a very effective technique that can be used to break out of bad habits and get rid of feelings associated with particular situations. A very brief, step-by-step approach to using the swish technique to destroy approach anxiety would look like this:
Step 1 – Imagine a situation where you feel approach anxiety. Build a clear mental picture of yourself in this situation and recall exactly what you feel.
Step 2 – Imagine a situation where you feel supremely confident. Again build a clear mental picture of yourself in such a situation with emphasis on the feelings and sensations associated with such a situation.
Step 3 – Close your eyes and create a picture frame in your mind of these two pictures. Have the negative picture fill up the frame and have the a dark and postage stamp sized version of the positive picture on the bottom left of the frame.
Step 4 – Simultaneously switch the two pictures by imagining the negative picture becoming smaller and dissolving into the distance and at the same time imagining the positive picture become larger and clearer until it completely fills up the frame. Imagine a ‘swish’ sound as you do this.
Step 5 – Clear your mind and take a deep breath.
Step 6 – Repeat this process about seven times until you find it hard to hold onto the negative mental image.
With regular practice, you will soon find yourself intuitively performing this ‘swish’ in your mind every time you find yourself in a situation where you feel approach anxiety coming on. And you will feel yourself automatically replacing the feelings of fear and inadequacy with a feeling of confidence and possibility. This is a powerful technique to help build your inner game and can be used in a whole heap of other situations as well.
Using NLP rapport techniques to make a woman feel comfortable
Mirroring is somewhat sneaky, but nonetheless effective way of making people feel more at ease around you. Just by matching certain elements of a woman’s physiology, you can make her feel much more comfortable with you and pave the way for a much smoother seduction. Some of these elements that can be matched are:
- Vocal tonality, rhythm and volume
- Sensory language – These are the words that a woman uses to describe what she senses
- Emotional state
- Posture – For example leaning back slightly when she leans back and leaning in when she does the same.
- Movements – For example picking up your drink when she does
NLP can sometimes seem like a murky science, but there is no doubt that when it is elucidated and used properly it can be a powerful tool for a pickup artiste not only in improving their inner game but also in most other areas in life.